Writer’s Toolbox: The Plot Scenario Generator

If you’re a writer of fiction in any form and you’ve hit a creative dry-spell, are having difficulty starting a story, or already have some idea for a character, setting, theme, etc. but find yourself coming up short in actually producing a plot, check out The Plot Scenario Generator on the Archetype writing blog.  “This generator provides you with the event that gets the story rolling and a secondary conflict to keep you going!” And, of course, if you don’t like the generated plot, simply refresh the page and there’s a new one.  This site is a scaled-down, more general version of The Brainstormer.

As with any formula, this won’t work for every writer in every context.  What this site does, however, is creates a starting point for a story in medias res; and that might be the initial charge that your story needs.  If you could do with the structure of a formula, there are other tools that buttress nicely with The Plot Scenario Generator.  Anne Lamott talks about the ABDCE formula in her excellent book on writing, Bird by Bird:

“Action, Background, Development, Climax, Ending.  You begin with action that is compelling enough to draw us in, make us want to know more.  Background is where you let us see and know who these people are, how they’ve come together, what was going on before the opening of the story.  Then you develop these people, so that we learn what they care most about.  The plot—the drama, the actions, the tension—will grow out of that.  You move them along until everything comes together in the climax, after which things are different for the main characters, different in some real way.”

The Plot Scenario Generator can start you off with some action if you’re a sufficiently modern writer thoroughly encumbered by the tendency toward interiors.  However, this generator probably won’t dictate plot in a short story, but if you have already developed some characters and want to see how they tackle certain problems (i.e., plot as deepening the reader’s/writer’s understanding of character), this would be a great way to test/convey your characters in meaningful ways.  You could treat these discoveries as exercises, but I would take John Gardner’s advice and treat every text you write as a potential story rather than an exercise.

And who knows?  Maybe someday you’ll write something of worth that’s revered by critics and loved by the masses.  Something like Firecracker (1981) in which “Femme fatale martial arts expert teaches the mafia a lesson”.

Dream big, fellow traveler.

How Did Sherlock Holmes Pave the Way for 50 Shades of Grey? Is Miku Hatsune more REAL than Lana Del Rey? PBS Ponders.

Idea Channel is a new online PBS show that examines the connections between pop culture, technology and art. Although the show might pepper itself with a few too many meme image macros, it asks a lot of great questions about pop culture and how we think about it. Also, If you are a fan of discussion about what is/isn’t art, there are quite a few videos focused on this topic specifically (instagram, nail art, Microsoft Kinect, Super Mario, Hello Kitty). If you were a fan of the late-show Infomania, this might fill the pop-culture-void left in your heart.

How Did Sherlock Holmes Pave the Way for 50 Shades of Grey?

Is Miku Hatsune A More Authentic Pop Star Than Lana Del Rey?

The show is hosted and written by Mike Rugnetta (“with a small group of people that help him widdle it down” he says) and new videos are posted every Wednesday. If you want to check out more, visit their youtube channel or follow them on twitter.

On Weddings, John Boehner, and Tiny Deer Figurines

I am getting married.  I’ve had conflicted feelings about this for a long time, going through periods of watching “Engaged and Underage” with serious jealousy, of feeling defiant and swearing that I would never do it until common law came down upon me, and of not really knowing what the big deal was.  I think I’m in the last category still, but I do know that I want to have a big wedding before I lose anyone else in either family, and I want to be entitled to half of Madison’s extensive riches if he ever decides to leave me.  (Let me state here that despite my ambivalence, I do realize how lucky I am to even have the opportunity to legally make this choice, due simply to my heterosexuality.  I wish we lived in a world where everyone believed in civil rights.)

So we’re having a wedding.  I’m not one of those people that has been dreaming of and planning their wedding since age 6.  I have done my share of watching “Bridezillas” and “Say Yes to the Dress,” but it’s really more born of a desire to feel like I’m a comparatively great person for not treating other humans like deplorable spider-creatures and for not thinking someone should take out a high-interest loan to buy me one dress.  In the beginning, I thought I just wanted the food to be good, the drinks to be flowing, and the people to have fun.  I don’t know where I got off that track.

Ray Bradbury’s Advice to Writers

HAIL SEITAN! The Weird World of Homemade Wheat-Meat

Foodies (and other top-hatted, monocled, highbrow goons and goofusses), don’t like processed food, distrust “food products,” and look down on Taco Bell consumers (“I say! Look at those mindless sheeple at the local purveyor of Industrialized American-Mexican fare!”).  I kind of like food and want to make choices that indicate my mindfulness of the effects of my consumption and my love for the planet (I love it but I’m not… in love with it), so I continue my journey to find simple, delicious substitutes for meat. The implication of the term “substitute” is that it can’t stand by itself or is in some ways a lesser option, but the reason I use this terminology is because a plate should have a protein, and the protein of choice in a traditional Western diet is meat. So I seek another way.

My hope is to help encourage a “non-soy-based, non-heavily-processed, local-focused veg diet, [which] is the definition of low impact.”

So when I’m at the grocery store and I see something labeled “wheat-meat” and is supposedly both “mock duck” and “mock pork” simultaneously, I was immediately intrigued (like characters in Dracula, both entranced/repelled).  I imagine that this is some kind of vegetarian frankenproduct, but it turns out that’s really not the case if you make it yourself.

A Kirk Cameron’s depiction of the animal seitan comes from

Though it appears to be a highly processed mock-food, seitan (pronounced SAY-TAN), actually only contains two ingredients:  vital gluten flour and water.  Seitan is basically high-gluten boiled bread; it’s obviously not gluten-free.  If you don’t feel like spending time locating vital gluten flour (which you can pick up at any health food store and at some supermarket organic sections) or if you don’t want to make this recipe for whatever reason, you can find commercial seitan in Asian/international markets or in health food stores (but the mark-up on seitan is incredibly high:  12 oz of seitan will run you about $4.00 (and that was at Kroger)–however, making it only costs about a buck a pound).

Canned from an international store is the cheaper albeit more dubious option

But don’t waste your money!  Don’t eat something out of a can you can’t read! Make seitan yourself! I’ve been improving this recipe for awhile and have worked out the kinks.  You won’t have to sell your soul for this meat substitute (har, har, har).

Invite SEITAN into your household in SIX simple steps!

You Aren’t What You Eat: Vegetable Stock

Vegetable stock has so many uses and can elevate just about anything it’s added to; it’s become essential to my kitchen setup.  It’s also really cheap to make a ton of it, so I find myself making it quite often.  I used to prepare it according to the free recipe online that has “5 Stars” (if you trust the pedestrian masses and their derivative “star system”, go ahead and use that recipe (but it’s a blunder, I say!)).  That recipe was fine until I started shopping around and trying other recipes.

I’ve adapted Mark Bittman’s recipe from his great book How to Cook Everything Vegetarian.  This is the best vegetable stock I’ve tried.  Once prepared, you can use this surprisingly hearty stock to build a soup (I’ve made everything from vegetarian chili to tortilla soup with this stock), sauce, to fortify grains like quinoa (use stock in place of water), or you can just sip it on a hot summer day (if you’re into that).

I like to make about two quarts (1/2 gallon) at any given time—you can cut this recipe in half or double it depending on how much you want to make, but bear in mind that it only takes a few more minutes of prep to double or triple this recipe.  (Storage information follows):

Cute New World: Google’s Zelda-esque Quest Maps

Google Maps launches their new 8-bit “update” version of Google Maps for April Fool’s Day.

Here’s an image of Cincinnati using the 8-bit Quest Mode :

And their adorable video on the update to 8-bit (replete with NES/any cartridge system nostalgia) :

Completed Work

And thus concludes my maiden attempt at animation.

(an expansion on this previous post)

Midcoast Interviews: Ben Dudley

Ben Dudley is the creator of the comedy shorts known as  “Life Hacks” on Youtube.  He is a writer currently about to graduate from the MFA program at University of Cincinnati, where he does standup, writes fiction, and creates videos.

I recently invaded his home and asked him questions about the foremost problems facing humanity, his comedic influences, etc.  in the name of the midcoast.

He also edited three comedic versions of the interview that are hilarious.

Ben Dudley’s Youtube channel

Hawaiian? I Hardly Know Her!

A beach picture to trick you into reading this.

Part 2:  In which I survive a harrowing car ride, and eat a frozen treat.

Have you been to Maui?  It’s a little good, and a little strange.  We will explore both.

The mountains (volcanoes/craters) are generally in the center of the islands, and for the most part, the highways and roads make their way around the mountains.  That means you get a nice view of the ocean when you’re driving just about anywhere.  Oh, it also means that sometimes, you’re driving on a one lane road next to a steep cliff that drops down to the ocean.  Ha Ha, Adventure!  This is really fun for anyone who’s not particularly into ensuring the continuing natural function of their organs/generally living.  On one of the particularly bad roads, luckily for us all, was a population of Schiedea globosa.  This means I got to spend a day trying to collect plants from the side of a one lane road, while tourists unaccustomed to mountain cliff driving attempted to avoid killing us, hitting an oncoming car, or driving off the side of the cliff.  I’m starting to think I did something long ago to dishonor this plant’s family, and now it’s getting its revenge.  On the plus side, after climbing up a steep cliff with unstable soil and thorny shrubs, we got to a little point where we could watch whales spouting in the ocean while we were collecting.  Turns out, it’s whale birthing season!  That’s right, this is the time of year when humpbacks journey from Alaska to Hawaii to welcome their babies into warm, paradise-like waters.  Only to force them to swim back up to Alaska afterwards in a painful tradition comparable to spending the better part of 24 years in the Midwest.  I kid.  But seriously, every time I’m starting to attribute malicious, humanoid characteristics to the landscape, Hawaii does something that makes my heart melt.

An idyllic village found at the end of a horrifying death-trap locals refer to as a "road."

Example:  I finally got Hawaiian shave ice.  But Megan, you say, Hawaiian shave ice is available everywhere!  You can drive to Loveland and get it!  Ah, you would be right.  But the shave ice here, it is an entirely different animal.  For starters, they will put a scoop of ice cream in the bottom of your shave ice cup.  Ice cream!  Like macadamia nut or coconut pudding ice cream!  Then the ice goes on top, and it’s topped by fresh fruit purees (like mango puree made from the FREE MANGOES LITERALLY LYING ON THE GROUND).  As if that weren’t enough, you can also get a snow cap, which is a sweetened condensed milk mixture that goes on top.  It’s how they get mainlanders to relocate permanently to the islands!  No, not the beaches, stupid, it’s the shave ice.

God himself could not make a shave ice this good.

Ok ok, you’re jelly.  I can tell.  Let’s keep it real.  We go to another field site, which is a whopper.  It’s off a little dirt road that we can’t access with our rental PT Cruiser (-___-), so we hop in the back of the land manager’s pickup truck to get there.  On the way, there is a seemingly non-functional farm with one lazy goat (aren’t they all, amirite?  JUST KIDDING GOAT LOBBY), a pack of peacocks, and a baby cow that gallops around playing with its best friend, a dog (;___;).  An assortment of animals that are entirely useful, I’m sure.  Also we have to cross a river.  I couldn’t find any hiking sandals in Ohio before I left, so I got to cross the river in my waterproof hiking boots.  Which worked great until my boots were submerged and the water was trapped inside the boot.  All day.  Curse you, past Megan!

No, but seriously, these boots saved my life on multiple occasions. Thanks, boots. Thoots.

Ok, so we get to the field site after all that, and the whole population has apparently slid off the cliff into the ocean.  Hawaii is made of shield volcanoes (no, trust me, that’s incredibly geologically accurate), that have really unstable cliffs that often slide into the ocean.  On the plus side, that was our last group of plants, and here we were in Maui for 4 more days.  We were trying to locate more populations by asking the locals, but here’s a funny thing:  the locals weren’t really into telling us where the plants are.  And it’s not like we’re just asking people waltzing down the street, we’re asking biologists and academics.  Now, most of the Hawaiians I’ve met have been exceedingly nice and helpful.  Perhaps they just want to keep Hawaiian research in Hawaii.  But it’s not like anyone else in Hawaii is really studying this plant, so who knows.  Maybe they have already realized the malicious nature of globosa and are simply trying to protect us.  JOIN US NEXT TIME, on Oahu.

A post in which I may actually go to the beach, and have fun.